I find myself starting each new blog with an apology for not updating frequently enough. I don't know why I feel the need to do such a thing. It is not like I have a following of more than 2 people. But, to the 2 of you who keep up with me - I am sorry for not updating my blog sooner. Needless to say, it has been quite a journey since my last post.
Where to begin....
Fall is a tremendously busy time for me every year. School starts. Clemson football season tickets. Leaves changing. Absorbing every last drop of nice weather. Travel with job. Family time. Time with friends. All important. All consuming every last minute of my time. When I get busy I get distracted. I find it hard to focus on much of anything - especially those things that require my attention and heart on a daily basis.
God has a funny way of reigning me back in. He is constantly proving to me how little control I have over my life. He continues to be faithful and I am humbled by His sovereignty. Just when I had decided I was done living in Greenville and it was time to make a move again because my life has not changed He boldly affirmed to me that He knows what He is doing and that He has it under control! The Friday before Thanksgiving the Sharpe family was hit with the devastating news that my mother had breast cancer again. Mom was diagnosed with DCIS - which is the BEST diagnosis to get - after being cancer free for 11 years. After many tests, prayers and additional diagnoses, Mom will be undergoing bilateral mastectomy at the beginning of the year. It was not an easy decision to reach but all parties involved feel that this is in Mom's best interest and it is the decision with which she finds most peace. I just have to chuckle because I was ready to begin exploring the possibilities of alternative places to live just 3 days before learning about Mom's cancer. I have struggled intermittently with why God has me back in Greenville when there are so many other places to live. I do love Greenville but I was becoming restless and ready to take life into my own hands when part of God's plan and reasoning was unravelled before me. I am confident that Mom's diagnosis serves as a primary reason that I am right here in Greenville. I have been able to attend every doctor's appointment with her and help her process all of the information that has been given to her. I am right where I need to be.
So often I grow so weary and uneasy with my life. Some days are a constant battle and I wonder if I will ever see change. I also experience days when I know that I am right where I need to be. I just wish that it didn't take a cancer diagnosis for me to be reminded of the fact that I am not in control and that this life just really is not about me. God's plans are perfect.
There have been several other stresses in my life recently that I will not bore you with. However, in all these things I have found that a thankful heart makes each trial so much more bearable. Yes, God does have the power to change any circumstance and I am puzzled, at times, as to why He has not chosen to change mine. But, where would I be in the midst of these circumstances without Him and His power to change them. In Him is where I place my hope. In Him is where I place my trust. Without these circumstances I don't know if this hard-headed girl would have ever learned how to hope or trust Him. I am not in control.
