When the Going Gets Good...

I am realizing more and more that I have major....MAJOR trust issues. Not so much of others, but of God and myself. Why is it that when life is really good it is so much harder to trust that you are where God wants you? Why is it that I find myself so much more in-tune to God when my life is a wreck? Why am I so hesitant to the good that He seems to be offering me?



These questions have been surfacing all day for me. I would like to say that I am just a mental case and that be that. But, the truth is that all of these questions, all of my fear, stems from a heart problem...a problem with trusting God during the good and bad. God calls us to a much higher standard. He equips us with everything that we need in order to trust Him completely. He gives us minds to discern His will and hearts that are sensitive to the gentle guidance of the Holy Spirit in our lives. So, why is trust so hard?



For me, trusting God completely requires total vulnerability. I have worked so hard for many years to control outcomes and build walls of protection around my heart. My hard work has not paid off . I am finding it is much easier to build those walls than to allow God to break them down. I find it so frustrating because I don't even know how I got here. But, then again, I do. I am where I am because I have spent years in disobedience to God's instructions. I know now, more than ever, that God does not instruct us to bind us to a certain set of rules-God provides direction so that we are protected from ourselves.

As I think through all of this I am lovingly reminded to turn off my mind and tune into my heart. For it is there, with the lover of my soul, that I will learn to trust.