Just Look At Me

Let me start by saying that I cannot take credit for the title of my blog today. The title is inspired from the message that I heard at church earlier today.

So much of this life is not understood. Philosophers and great thinkers alike have tried to put meaning behind what we are here for and why everything works the way that it does. The truth of the matter, for me at least, is that we are all clueless. None of us have anything figured out. How much freedom we would find if we would toss the insecurity of our image to the side and live focused on God-the only person who does know what is going on.

"Just look at me" really made an impression in my heart today. You see, in about 21/2 months I will be returning to South Carolina. This decision has been made for quite some time. I am still in Wilmington because I am fulfilling the commitment that I made to my roommate when we moved in. I am excited about being back home, but I am dreading leaving Wilmington. I have made fascinating friends here. The friends that I have made will be life-long. I have grown so much as a person here. The two years that I have spent here will forever serve as a major transformation for me that was much needed when I arrived in Wilmington. The environment is beautiful here. I am a beach lover and Wilmington fulfills that part of me. There is so much about Wilmington that I am going to miss.

As Mike, our pastor said today, all you can do is stay focused on God and who he is. He doesn't want us to have everything figured out. He wants us to trust him and have faith in what he is doing in our lives because, like every life experience, the purpose is to teach us something. Perhaps he needs to show us just how strong we are when we are fully dependent on him. Maybe he needs to show me that even though I don't want to do something, when he asks and I obey, there is so much more peace of mind. The decision to leave Wilmington was hard. I fought with God for months or maybe I just ignored him, but because of his faithfulness, I know that I am moving home at the perfect time. As Mike taught today, I have to just look at him. Even though I do not understand what he is doing, I must look at him. He knows what joys or what hurts lie ahead. But, as I look only to him, in obedience, he will take care of the rest. What assurance we have as we place our trust in him.