Twirty

My friend Mandi turned 30 today. She is one amazing woman and has become a good friend of mine here in Wilmington. She is one of the most laid-back people that I know. Nothing really gets to her. Turning 30 did not really bother her too much. She said that the only thing that really hit home was that she could no longer say that she was twenty-something. So, being the good friend that I am, I suggested that, when asked for her age, she repsond with "twirty". It will throw everyone for a loop and she really does not have to explain that she is thirty because everyone will still be looking at her as though she has a speech impediment.

There is something so "official" about 30. What does 30 look like for you? I know that for me it has always looked like a husband, maybe a child, a good job and a wonderful home. The closer that I get to 30 the more I realize that my life may not include some or any of those things that I mentioned. I am three years away from the big 3-0 and I often ask myself, will I be ok if I am not married-I know that I will be ok without children? Will I be ok if I don't have the 5,000 square foot home? Will I be ok-period? How foolish I can be. Don't I know that life takes care of itself and, more importantly, isn't there a plan for my life?

All of these questions bring to surface a much deeper issue-peace with where I am NOW. Does it really matter where I will be in 3 years. How about where I am now? Am I making the most of my life as it is? I thought about these things a lot over the course of today and realized, for the first time in a long time, that I am happy-yes happy-with my life. Honestly, there is no other place in life that I rather be than right where I am. You see, I couldn't imagine being married right now because God has not revealed to me the man with whom I will spend my life. I am happy to not have a child right now because I know that I am just not ready. I am not willing to make room for that in my life right now. Furthermore, I would be a single mother and parenting is just something that I really prefer to do with a partner. I am happy that I don't have my huge house-I am not broke. I can buy the clothes that I want and visit the places that I wish. Being one of the only single girls left out of all of my friends and, now, one of the only ones to not have children, I have learned that what I want is not necessarily what I need. And, when I submit my desires to God, He changes them. Unfulfilled desires can produce so much more joy than those desires that I so selfishly pursue. There is the power of NOW. I have become a believer.

Please don't get me wrong. I look toward the future with hope and anticipation of what God is going to do. I just must have the understanding that it may look nothing like what I have ever pictured. So, as for now, I will not think about "twirty". I will enjoy my 20's-what is left of them- and, when asked my age, relish in the fact that I can still say "twenty-________". I am going to experience the joy and the power of NOW!