I am traveling this week...what's new, right? Anywho, I am in Nashville and then on to New Orleans by the end of the week. I really love coming to Nashville. The city has a great to feel to it and there is a lot to see and do. The see and do part I don't really get to take part in because I am always working. I also have great friends that live just outside of Nashville. Ashley and Darren were friends of mine at Clemson and it is always so nice to spend time with them when I am here.
Tonight was an extra special treat. I was able to have dinner with Ashley and Darren at their house and then we went for ice cream. Having ice cream is something that Ashley and I would have never done in college because we were way too concerned with our figures. The funny thing is, now that we do enjoy a scoop here and there, we probably look way better than we did in college :). After we enjoyed our ice cream we just hang out at their house and spent time catching up. The time that I spent with them tonight was literally 5 hours of home for me...and that means so much when I am on the road so often. And, thanks to Darren, I know have 1000+ songs on my ipod and I am super excited and thankful for that! Thanks Darren!!!
In such a time of personal transition I become very reflective....hence the blog! As I think about the friends that I have made throughout my life, I have come to realize how extremely blessed I am to have such great people in my life. As I think about moving back to SC I am saddened most by the thought of leaving those friends that I have come to hold so dear. If you are a Wilmington peep - thank you for having such a huge part in my life. You have no idea how instrumental you have been in my life. Thanks for sharing a lot of good times, belly-busting laughs and painful hurts. You guys are unconditional and unwavering and I love you so much! I am grateful that you all are staying in Wilmington because you know that this beach bum can't stay away for too long! I look forward to all of the things that lie ahead for us all.
And, for those of you who have known me for years....
Thank you for your support and love even when you were mumbling under your breath "what is she thinking?". God has blessed me so much throughout my life because of your friendship. If you are in SC, I look forward to reconnecting and seeing you as much as I want to! You may have to tell me to go away.
I know that this blog may seem rather cheesy, but, as I left Ashely and Darren's tonight I couldn't help but think - I have to blog about my wonderful friends. I don't tell you enough how thankful I am to have you as part of my life.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
I forgot to say this...
I think that Jimmy Carter just needs to shut up and stay in Atlanta. He is not on the ballot! Ok...that is the only political opinion I will share.
Who Will You Choose?
I am sitting in the Charlotte airport. I have a 2 and 1/2 hour delay. There is a man in the corner of the club where I wait who is speaking very loudly on the phone. I cannot tell if he is foreign or Elmer Fudd's brother. It is quite entertaining considering that I have nothing better to do than to sit here and blog about it.
On a more serious note...
CNN is the only channel that the club will broadcast so I am constantly reminded of the state of our country. I have never really been too interested in politics until this year. I am not more interested, really, I am just scared to death for the future of our country. As I sit, watch and learn about the candidates who may be up for election, my concern only grows. It is quite a helpless feeling to know that in November I will be voting for the lesser evil. I am not especially fond of any candidate, so this is not my political banner to endorse a particular person. This is, though, my plea for you to pray, earnestly pray for our country. Gas prices are ridiculous, resources are limited and no one in congress can agree on anything. Please join me in praying for our country so that we will return to unity and ultimately to God.
On a more serious note...
CNN is the only channel that the club will broadcast so I am constantly reminded of the state of our country. I have never really been too interested in politics until this year. I am not more interested, really, I am just scared to death for the future of our country. As I sit, watch and learn about the candidates who may be up for election, my concern only grows. It is quite a helpless feeling to know that in November I will be voting for the lesser evil. I am not especially fond of any candidate, so this is not my political banner to endorse a particular person. This is, though, my plea for you to pray, earnestly pray for our country. Gas prices are ridiculous, resources are limited and no one in congress can agree on anything. Please join me in praying for our country so that we will return to unity and ultimately to God.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
The Countdown is On
So, if you keep up with me on Facebook, you will see that I have officially started counting the days to when I move back to SC. I know that I talk about this A LOT, but, let's be honest...I don't have much more to talk about. Anyhow, getting back to the countdown...I am 20 days away from moving back to SC.
As always, when God leads us to certain crossroads in life the decision is ultimately ours to make. He will always provide the right way, but because he loves us, he never forces us...he gently allows us to make the decision. Historically speaking, I usually choose to go against God. God has to deal with me until the point of misery before I give up my selfish ambitions. Once I reach the point of being exasperated by living life on my own, I feel defeated and abandoned. Deep down I know that I am the only one to blame for the way that I am feeling, but many times I am angry with God because he let me go there again. How many times have I said this-HOW FOOLISH CAN I BE?
Oh, how the decision to move home has forever transformed me!!! I am so filled with JOY, true JOY as I write this. I am so in awe of God and how he loves me. As I have said before, I really struggled with the decision of moving home. When I moved to Wilmington in 2006 I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was doing what God wanted me to do. In 2006 my life was a mess...a mess that I had created. A mess that was left behind after many failed relationships and a heap of heartbreak. For those of you who really knew me at that point in time, I now understand why the move to Wilmington seemed so bizarre and so not God's plan. But, I knew that I had to move to Wilmington so that God could deal with me, even though I really didn't want him to do anything. There was nothing special about Wilmington (other than a job) but God needed me to be alone. Really alone...no family within an hour and no friends that have known me for 20 years. Wilmington brought me into a completely dependent relationship with God. Wilmington brought me into a relationship where God was God.
As I look back over the past two years of my life, I am so grateful that God brought me to Wilmington so that he could take away every comfort that I was familiar with and love me back to spiritual health. The last 2 years have been the hardest years that I have experienced. I moved away with great expectations of what Wilmington could do for me. And, to be quite honest, God was no where in those expectations. I was moving to Wilmington to make good money, to reinvent myself and to find a man. Within 2 months of moving to Wilmington I quickly began to understand that what I was looking for in Wilmington was not what I was meant to find. I continued to fight God. I continued to try and live life my way and on my own terms. If I pursued God at all it was only so I could tell my parents I went to church on Sundays. This blatant denial of God finally brought me to my knees to the point that I was paralyzed by my the toxicity of my soul. When I couldn't loathe myself any more, I became aware of God's loving presence in my life, little by little. I could rant and rave about all the details that God has allowed to seep through my life, but there just isn't enough time. But, as I reminisce, I can see the tapestry woven by those details in spite of my poor decisions or defiant spirit.
As always, when God leads us to certain crossroads in life the decision is ultimately ours to make. He will always provide the right way, but because he loves us, he never forces us...he gently allows us to make the decision. Historically speaking, I usually choose to go against God. God has to deal with me until the point of misery before I give up my selfish ambitions. Once I reach the point of being exasperated by living life on my own, I feel defeated and abandoned. Deep down I know that I am the only one to blame for the way that I am feeling, but many times I am angry with God because he let me go there again. How many times have I said this-HOW FOOLISH CAN I BE?
Oh, how the decision to move home has forever transformed me!!! I am so filled with JOY, true JOY as I write this. I am so in awe of God and how he loves me. As I have said before, I really struggled with the decision of moving home. When I moved to Wilmington in 2006 I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was doing what God wanted me to do. In 2006 my life was a mess...a mess that I had created. A mess that was left behind after many failed relationships and a heap of heartbreak. For those of you who really knew me at that point in time, I now understand why the move to Wilmington seemed so bizarre and so not God's plan. But, I knew that I had to move to Wilmington so that God could deal with me, even though I really didn't want him to do anything. There was nothing special about Wilmington (other than a job) but God needed me to be alone. Really alone...no family within an hour and no friends that have known me for 20 years. Wilmington brought me into a completely dependent relationship with God. Wilmington brought me into a relationship where God was God.
As I look back over the past two years of my life, I am so grateful that God brought me to Wilmington so that he could take away every comfort that I was familiar with and love me back to spiritual health. The last 2 years have been the hardest years that I have experienced. I moved away with great expectations of what Wilmington could do for me. And, to be quite honest, God was no where in those expectations. I was moving to Wilmington to make good money, to reinvent myself and to find a man. Within 2 months of moving to Wilmington I quickly began to understand that what I was looking for in Wilmington was not what I was meant to find. I continued to fight God. I continued to try and live life my way and on my own terms. If I pursued God at all it was only so I could tell my parents I went to church on Sundays. This blatant denial of God finally brought me to my knees to the point that I was paralyzed by my the toxicity of my soul. When I couldn't loathe myself any more, I became aware of God's loving presence in my life, little by little. I could rant and rave about all the details that God has allowed to seep through my life, but there just isn't enough time. But, as I reminisce, I can see the tapestry woven by those details in spite of my poor decisions or defiant spirit.
The past 2 years have not been about me loving God the way that every "good" Christian should. The past two years have been about allowing myself to experience God's love so that I could start loving him in return. The truth is, I cannot love God the way that he deserves to be loved...but, he can have me...all of me...and that is the kind of love that he desires.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
A Hug and A Kiss
Whenever you read this, if you can, stop...find those you love...tell them and then hug and kiss them. I found out today that one of my dear friends, Joan, lost her husband yesterday, unexpectedly. You just never know when your time is up. So, make the best of what you have and who you are. Love often and unconditionally. And, never, ever forget to tell those who mean so much that you love them.
Please pray for Joan and her family as they learn to re-define normal after this very tragic turn of events.
Please pray for Joan and her family as they learn to re-define normal after this very tragic turn of events.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Ain't No Place Like Home
To all of my fellow Carolinians....take a moment to look around, take a deep breath and appreciate the natural beauty that surrounds you.
I have, unfortunately, been in Iowa for the last two days. As soon as you step off of the plane, you wonder if a cow was hit during the landing. The air is thick with animal smells here. And, to be quite frank, it is not pleasant. The smell is just something that I cannot get used to as it slaps me across the face each time I step outdoors.
Ok, so it smells bad, but, it is the Midwest and it should be green. Nope. Think again. It is flat and not so green. It is more or less a brown. You would hope that the sunshine would make up for it, but from my experience...nope....it doesn't. The only redeeming quality Iowa has is the people that live here. I have never met a Midwesterner that is not pleasant. If I lived here I think that I would be a miserable mess because there are no mountains. There is no beach. There is just flat smelliness.
I have been traveling for close to 2 years now with my job. I have come to appreciate the Carolinas and the landscape that they have to offer. There truly just ain't no place like home!!
I have, unfortunately, been in Iowa for the last two days. As soon as you step off of the plane, you wonder if a cow was hit during the landing. The air is thick with animal smells here. And, to be quite frank, it is not pleasant. The smell is just something that I cannot get used to as it slaps me across the face each time I step outdoors.
Ok, so it smells bad, but, it is the Midwest and it should be green. Nope. Think again. It is flat and not so green. It is more or less a brown. You would hope that the sunshine would make up for it, but from my experience...nope....it doesn't. The only redeeming quality Iowa has is the people that live here. I have never met a Midwesterner that is not pleasant. If I lived here I think that I would be a miserable mess because there are no mountains. There is no beach. There is just flat smelliness.
I have been traveling for close to 2 years now with my job. I have come to appreciate the Carolinas and the landscape that they have to offer. There truly just ain't no place like home!!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Blessings
I don't know about you, but I have the tendency to always wonder why God is blessing other people and seemingly forgetting all about me. I have been quite convicted of this lately because I have been the one who has been defining the blessings. I have not allowed God to just be God in my life and bestow HIS blessings in HIS timing. Upon realizing this, I have started to look at EVERYTHING about my life in such a new light.
I was comparing my life with everyone else around me. Of course I am not going to be happy with MY life when I am trying to live EVERYONE else's...oh the pressure I put on myself. I have found a new freedom in just resting in God and he really has rocked my world. I just want to share about what He has been up to in my life....
As I have written before, I am moving home to Greenville, SC next month - WOO HOO!! I have grown so excited about moving home. My excitement is a miracle in and of itself! Last month I was really dreading the move because all I could think about was what I am leaving behind in Wilmington. God, in his mercy and grace, has allowed a lot of positive and some painful things to happen in the last 4 weeks that have only fed my excitement and affirmed to me that He is in control of this move.
First of all, I have been wondering how I am going to afford May. I have a house payment and rent payment to make. I could dip into my savings, but why do that if I don't have to? Last week I discovered that I would receive a reward from the company that I work for because I referred a new employee. The reward was monetary and was just shy of what I would owe for my rent for May. Oh, how my God provides!
Last but not least, I travel with my job. Most of the time my travel is not overwhelming...I can travel 1-2 nights a week and have most of the week at home working. Well, during the next 5 weeks leading up to my move, I will only be home maybe one day each week. This is a little unsettling because I do wonder how I am going to get everything packed up, but, it dawned on me that this is a huge blessing. Right now I live a street back from the beach. The weather should get warmer in the next few weeks and the beach will be calling my name. I love the beach and it is going to be so hard to leave it....especially when I can see and hear it every day that I am home. God, in his wisdom, filled my calendar with travel so that I become more and more accustomed to not being in Wilmington right before I move. But, in his love and kindness, he did sneak a few days in there so that I can spend them soaking in the sun and saying my good-byes to those who have come to mean so much to me in Wilmington.
Surprises are always the best because you can never expect them. I have come to realize that blessings are even better because they are from God and he always, always exceeds my expectations. Even though I don't have everything that I think I want or need, even though moving away will be a sacrifice on my part, God is blessing my obedience to him...and I haven't even moved yet!!!! He is making himself so clear to me that I am falling more and more in love with him and trusting him more each day.
I challenge you to look for the hidden blessings in your life. If you are constantly waiting on God to accomplish in your life what you want, please, take a moment and let God show you what he wants from you. You will be amazed and overly joyed by all that he will do in and through you. We serve an awesome and mighty God!
PS...If you are looking for a good read, pick up THE SHACK by William P. Young. You will not be able to put it down and it will change the way that you think about God.
I was comparing my life with everyone else around me. Of course I am not going to be happy with MY life when I am trying to live EVERYONE else's...oh the pressure I put on myself. I have found a new freedom in just resting in God and he really has rocked my world. I just want to share about what He has been up to in my life....
As I have written before, I am moving home to Greenville, SC next month - WOO HOO!! I have grown so excited about moving home. My excitement is a miracle in and of itself! Last month I was really dreading the move because all I could think about was what I am leaving behind in Wilmington. God, in his mercy and grace, has allowed a lot of positive and some painful things to happen in the last 4 weeks that have only fed my excitement and affirmed to me that He is in control of this move.
First of all, I have been wondering how I am going to afford May. I have a house payment and rent payment to make. I could dip into my savings, but why do that if I don't have to? Last week I discovered that I would receive a reward from the company that I work for because I referred a new employee. The reward was monetary and was just shy of what I would owe for my rent for May. Oh, how my God provides!
Last but not least, I travel with my job. Most of the time my travel is not overwhelming...I can travel 1-2 nights a week and have most of the week at home working. Well, during the next 5 weeks leading up to my move, I will only be home maybe one day each week. This is a little unsettling because I do wonder how I am going to get everything packed up, but, it dawned on me that this is a huge blessing. Right now I live a street back from the beach. The weather should get warmer in the next few weeks and the beach will be calling my name. I love the beach and it is going to be so hard to leave it....especially when I can see and hear it every day that I am home. God, in his wisdom, filled my calendar with travel so that I become more and more accustomed to not being in Wilmington right before I move. But, in his love and kindness, he did sneak a few days in there so that I can spend them soaking in the sun and saying my good-byes to those who have come to mean so much to me in Wilmington.
Surprises are always the best because you can never expect them. I have come to realize that blessings are even better because they are from God and he always, always exceeds my expectations. Even though I don't have everything that I think I want or need, even though moving away will be a sacrifice on my part, God is blessing my obedience to him...and I haven't even moved yet!!!! He is making himself so clear to me that I am falling more and more in love with him and trusting him more each day.
I challenge you to look for the hidden blessings in your life. If you are constantly waiting on God to accomplish in your life what you want, please, take a moment and let God show you what he wants from you. You will be amazed and overly joyed by all that he will do in and through you. We serve an awesome and mighty God!
PS...If you are looking for a good read, pick up THE SHACK by William P. Young. You will not be able to put it down and it will change the way that you think about God.
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